Just as I thought, I have received no travel haiku submissions. Thanks, bitches.
Do you all note the return of hate? Please do. Next up? NARCISSISM!!!!!! My regular gym-going will hopefully commence this evening (after a well deserved nap and cup of coffee - in that order).
So this lack of computer is killing me. It means that both my studies and my blogging are severely handicapped. While I steal a few moments in the law student lounge, I thought I would take the opportunity to introduce some of the many ways that my life is changing.
- I am now enslaved by the Socratic Method. This is the method of teaching used in law school by which instructors call on students and quiz them on their knowledge of the assigned reading. Today, I attended a class led by an especially ruthless professor. For the first time in years, I prayed to Jesus for a favor. This is no small thing. I refuse to pray to Jesus when i am in need because I never pray to Jesus with thanks. That would be rude. I am not a religious man, nor have I been since I was about 15 years old. I think it would be pretty inappropriate to say, "Jesus, I know I usually don't believe in you, but now I need a favor." So, I never ask Jesus for anything. We do, however, speak once per year when I attend midnight mass with my family on Christmas eve. Each year I say, "Hello, Jesus. As you know, I do not generally believe in you. That said, I would like to take this opportunity to explain to you once again how I have used the gift of logic to conclude that you are a myth and that it is through the active mining of my mind's depths that I have come to this decision. This is not an issue I take lightly. If you really do exist, then I would like to thank you for the gift of logic, for the life you have bestowed upon me, and for giving your own life to save my sins and the sins of all humanity. I hope you will not frown upon my disbelief when the day comes for my eternal judgment, for I am a thoughtful, conscientious, and moral man who tries to follow the golden rule." Okay, so you see how seriously I take this. I have literally not asked Jesus for anything for about 7 years. But today I kind of semi asked Jesus if the professor would PLEASE not call on me in class. I was really really tired when I got to the assignment for her class and I did a crappy job of preparing. Also, it occurred to me that I have not been that frightened since my home was attacked by a gang of armed men while I was inside. This occurred in Nairobi, Kenya. PLEASE NOTE: in that situation, while 14 men with axes and machetes hacked at the padlock on our front door, I did NOT ask Jesus for help. I merely relied upon my wits and the Masai club in my hand. Anyway, either Jesus or good luck spared me today. I guess I should also give a nod to fate .... some of you would attribute my good fortune to a pre-determined set of events, or fate, but I do not believe in that either. Everything does NOT happen for a reason, there are merely causes and effects.
- When wearing shorts, I have always worn white tube socks that come to mid/lower calf, but about 10 days ago I spotted a packet of quarter socks on sale at Ross. They barely cover the ankle. I like them so much that I bought another pack, yesterday, at Target. PRO: even more surface area of my body will tan. CON: I have discovered that the bone just above my ankles is freakishly small and fear that I will meet the same fate as Barbaro.
- I have started wearing my cap backwards, as opposed to forward. I used to only wear my cap forward, because I like the idea of something protruding further from my face than my big nose. Never mind all that. I think the backwards cap looks cute and sporty.
- Also at Ross, I purchased a nose hair trimmer. I tried it out last night and LOVED it. I know a guy who says that his nose hair trimmer is his favorite possession. I am not ready to make that leap, but am very excited by the idea of no longer having to rip the hairs from my nose with a tweezer.
- While waiting for torts class, I bumped into someone with whom I had had a sexual encounter about 6 years ago in Austin, Texas. He is a second-year law student here. We exchanged phone numbers.
- I have decided to start back on my protein and creatine regiment. I need a jump start as I return to working out daily.
- I spent 3 hours on IM talking to my Brazilian "friend" who plans on coming to visit in January. I must admit, I am pretty excited by the idea.
- I am ordering a new Dell laptop TONIGHT!!!
I hope you all skipped the Washington Post or New York Times in order to read this titillating page from "The Life of Jay"