Going through a typical day, working, going to the gym, picking up the dry cleaning, getting a haircut, etc., you can put people into one of two categories: the type of person who enjoys meeting and chatting with all the strangers they encounter, and those who really do not. I fall into the latter category. I have never made any attempt to meet even one person at the gym, I don't strike up conversations in line at the grocery store, in fact, when I go to parties I usually just stand in the corner drinking and smoking and talking to the people I came with.
I have occassionally noticed, in the mirror at the gym, that I wear an i'm-in-bad-mood-get-away-from-me countenance. Additoinally, on two separate occassions, in different cities and years apart, I was at a gay bar and a statuesque African-American drag queen bedazzled in rhinestones stopped me to say, "It's gonna be okay, baby."
Something has changed in the past 24 hours. Last night at the bar, I was chatting up strangers right and left (in Portuguese, no less) and twice today a stranger attempted to strike up a conversation. First, I was in Ross (yeah that's right, I buy my home furnishings at Ross) and a sassy middle-aged black woman with a GIANT blonde wig strikes up a conversation with, "You like wall decorations, too?"
We proceeded to share our mutual dislike for bare white walls. Then she showed me a multi-colored glass bowl that she was considering and asked me if it would look good in her foyer, or if black and white would be better. Since I haven't been to her home, I wasn't certain what to tell her and, honestly, she seemed a little put out by my indecisivenenss.
After Ross (and PetsMart and Target) I went to Barnes & Noble. While perusing cookbooks, one of the most masculine lesbians I have ever beheld asked me for advice. Remember that Will & Grace when Jack infiltrates an ex-gay ministry and two "ex-gay" lesbians chat up Karen? After they walk away she turns to Jack and says, "Honey was that two men or two woman - I couldn't tell?" That's what I was working with at the BN a few hours ago.
Anywho, I was perusing the culinary section and:
Her: So, you do much cooking?
Me: (startled) Um ... I cook a little.
Her: I have a mango at home and I am trying to figure out what to do with it.
Me: Uh (pause) You don't want to just eat the mango?
Her: Well, I could, but I want to do something with it. I was thinking it would go with pork? Maybe like a chutney?
Me: Yeah, pork and fruit goes good together. I have seen Lobster and mango together, too.
Her: Hm.
That was pretty much it. Then I walked away cause I was kinda freaked out. Sure, that was an anticlimactic story, but that's all I've got. I could probably give you a more riveting story if it weren't for the absolutely MESMERIZING episode of Celebrity Fit Club that is on right now. Will Jackee Harry's patent brand of humor ever grow old? I think not.
Comments