The other day I was leaving Target with my new bath towels, hand towels, and stainless steel waste bin, when a 30something man in a suit approached me for gas money. I admit, I have been duped by this type of scheme before. When I was 18 I gave a man at a Taco Bell in Alabama $75 to buy a part for his car at the neighboring Wal-Mart. He swore he'd be right back. I don't have to tell you how that story ends.
So I was rather torn when my unfortunate gas-less friend asked for a couple dollars. On one hand, he was wearing a suit, looked like a non-drug user, and carried a Target bag filled with a large plastic gas container. On the other, who doesn't carry a credit card these days?
But at that moment it occured to me that I had a one dollar bill in my pocket. I could easily reach into my pocket, pull out the one, and say "Well this is all I got, buddy." So that is what I did. I reached in, grabbed the contents of my pocket, withdrew my hand, held it out to the stranger in need, and said, "This is all I got, budddy." But when I looked down at my own hand, I had not one dollar, but four.
Damn.
So there was no turning back at this point and I just decided to give him the four dollars. The rest of the conversation went like this:
Jay (reaching into my pocket): This is all I got, buddy.
Stranger (upon seeing the four one dollar bills): Aw, man, THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Jay: No problem.
Stranger: You're alright, man. You're alright.
Jay (walking away): Thanks
Stranger: You've got love in your heart. You know that?
Jay (really trying to walk away): Thanks. It's no big deal.
Stranger: LOVE in your heart!
Jay: Yup.
Stranger: You've got LOVE in your HEART! You know, a lot of people these days don't have that. A lot of people don't have love in their hearts. You know that? YOU KNOW THAT?!?!
Jay: Yeah. I do. Thanks... have a nice day.
Stranger: You married?
Jay (ingruiged): No....
Stranger: You are going to make a man or woman very happy someday.
Jay (trying to leave again... suddenly very uncomfortable): Okay.
Stranger: DID YOU HEAR ME? You are going to make a MAN OR WOMAN VERY HAPPY SOMEDAY!!!
Jay (now jogging to my car): Thank you.
So remember my post about how strangers suddenly feel comfortable approaching for conversation? Well it just occured to me that about 95% of the strangers who have ever approached me for no good reason except pleasant conversation have been African-Americans. And so it dawns on me that maybe there is something about my general demeanor that cast itself out to the black population and reads: "Benevolent White Man" Or perhaps based on that last interraction, it should be "Benevolent Homosexual White Man" since my gayness is apparently revealed merely by a six sentence conversation in the Target parking lot. I don't know... You tell me...
Maybe the man was really Oprah in disguise and you'll be aired on her next Angel-Network themed show. I hope you didn't have a Target bag full of gourds and Noxema.
Posted by: Sarita | October 03, 2007 at 12:48 PM